For the last two years, a bird has made its nest under our front stoop. A cardinal, I think. The male flaps about the yard in his bright red plumage. The female, quiet and dull brown, sits upon her nest. Opening the front door is enough to scare her off the stoop and onto the … Continue reading Taking Care of Mama Bird
I do a lot of things to keep my wife happy. I’m not sure whether any of them actually work, but I try. That’s my primary motivation for doing whatever housework I do, and I often end up cooking dinner, washing dishes, folding laundry, picking up toys, dusting the furniture (haha just kidding, who really … Continue reading Why We Do the Things We Do
When I was a kid, you did not want to mix up your adverbs and adjectives around me. Forget to the put the -ly on an adverb and you were sure to hear a swift rebuke. Heaven help you if you ever split an infinitive or uttered a double negative. If we could hear commas, … Continue reading Confessions of a Grammar Nazi
People watching is easy. You find a spot with a good view and you start staring. The difficulty comes when you don’t want anyone to know what you are doing, when you don’t want to be the creepy guy ogling strangers like they’re a car wreck on the side of the road. So you’re stuck … Continue reading What’s Wrong With People Watching?
If social media is cocaine for our connection-addicted psyches, then those of us with social anxiety are the ones smoking crack. The addiction is instant, the highs are half as long, and the punishments twice as harsh. We crave it, but we can’t handle it. We know it’s dangerous, but we keep coming back for … Continue reading Antisocial Crack
I consider myself an expert in making bad decisions. It’s the kind of expertise that only comes with many years of practice. You have to make a conscious choice and stick with it, undaunted by the consequences, because it’s so easy to just float along making the right decisions. Everyone else is doing it, and … Continue reading In Defense of Bad Decisions: a Brief Autobiography
I’m hungry as I write this. Doesn’t help that I’m sitting at Qdoba but I can’t get any chicken nachos with that delicious queso. I’m on a long-term diet in which I drink a protein shake instead of lunch. It’s not too bad, honestly, and it works, but it’s never quite enough to satisfy. I’m … Continue reading Hunger is Good